Ten Lessons Learned in 2012

2012 was a year of change for me. My life circumstances morphed in several ways — all for the better, but I found myself tested pretty severely at times. I came through stronger, though. Here’s what I learned…

Decisions

• I hate making choices, especially important ones with lasting repercussions, so making a lot of them in a short period of time isn’t good for my mental health.
• Despite that, I can still be a decision-making guru when I need to be and not fall into a million wibbling little pieces…mostly.
• Even though decisions are hard, most decisions aren’t life-altering.
• With the ones that are, I’ll just know the right path, even if I’m scared. Or the path will turn out to be right, one or the other.

Learning to Do Less

I’m horrendously busy right now, and I’ve heard a lot of people say the same. This time of year can be tough. But it’s really just a symptom. We’re all swimming as fast as we can all the time to keep our heads above water. Add anything extra, and we might just go under.

(The main reason I’m busy is not because of Christmas. But it is good news, and you’ll hear more about it on the blog soon!)

So how am I coping?

7 Tips for Dealing with Life’s Curveballs

This week, life threw me a curveball. Due to a freak folk dancing accident, I’m going to be hobbling around for a while. Sucks, right? Yes. But not as much as one might think.

At another time in my life, I would have been a complete emotional mess if something like this happened. Waterworks (tears), worries running rampant in my head, growling at my loved ones. But that’s just not the case right now. Sure, I’m a little worried, and yes, I shed a few tears, but overall I’m pretty mellow.

What’s changed?

First of all, it helps that I’m pretty happy with my life right now, and I don’t have any urgent plans that have been thrown into disarray (like, say, moving into a new house or going to a writers’ convention). Second, as disasters go, this one is pretty minor. But those are factors you can’t control, so I’m less interested in them for the purposes of this post.

So what have I learned about dealing with injury and other curveballs?

1. Acknowledge your emotions. First, it’s important to let yourself feel fear, or grief or whatever you need to feel. Share them with someone who’ll listen, too.

Let Your Inner Light Shine: Guest Post by Erin Zarro

Since I’m taking a week away from the Internet, I asked the lovely Erin Zarro if she would do a guest post for me, and boy, did she deliver. Here she is to talk about following your dreams…

—–

As a child, I was mercilessly teased and taunted by others.  It left me with scars that have never quite healed.  To this day, I always feel like someone’s watching me and having a good laugh.  Even though that’s totally not the case.  It made me feel like less of a person, a freak, for so long.  It really hurt me, deep inside, and I went through many years of therapy and depression and soul-searching.  But I’m getting better now, through medication and writing.

I recently made the decision to self-publish my work as opposed to finding an agent.  My debut novel Fey Touched, which released on August 1st, is a mix of both sci-fi and fantasy (and a bit of horror, too) and I wasn’t sure if there was even a market for that sort of thing.  And if an agent would take it on.  They only take what they know they can sell.  So I loved this book, loved the concept, and made the decision.  I would let my inner light shine.  Scars and imperfections and all.  I would make my mark on the world through my words.

What prompted this, you are probably wondering.  A clinically depressed writer would probably believe her stuff sucked and would never sell.  Yep, been there, done that, got the tee shirt.  Why would I put myself out there, out to possible ridicule and nasty commentary?  Why would I take that kind of chance with this beautiful book I love so much?  Was I insane?

No, but I owe it all to Adam Lambert.

Friday Links to Combat Despair

Here are the two best blog posts I’ve read this week. I share these links not because I’m in a bad head-space now, but because I have been before and may well be again. They’re geared to writers, but if you’re not a writer you may still find something of value.

From Ollin Morales at Courage 2 Create:

Listen, nobody has ever looked at a tree, pointed to it and said:

“I can’t wait until that tree accomplishes something meaningful!”

That would be ridiculous. Because we would all agree that the tree has ALREADY accomplished something VERY meaningful: it has successfully accomplished being a tree.

Read the rest.

From Jan O’Hara at Writer Unboxed:

Contents of a Writer’s Emergency Hope Kit

1. An “accolades and compliments” file

Screen shots, emails, blog comments, reader feedback—in short, any feedback you’ve received which is positive and implies faith in your writing.

2. Links to particularly inspiring blog posts, books, Youtube clips, quotes, photos, lists of movies, even foods that when eaten make you feel abundant.

Really, you can include anything which has the capacity to open and warm your cockled heart.

Lots more ideas.

To tell you the truth, I already have a file and a set of bookmarks like the ones she suggests…I just forget to add to them or even use them. Maybe I’ll share them with you one of these days, in case you find them uplifting too.

That’s it for this week. See you back here on Monday!

 

Friday Link: The Shocking Things I Did This Weekend

No, not the kind of shocking you think. As a follow-up to Wednesday’s post about relearning how to have fun, I have to point you to someone else who was thinking the same thing. Cordelia (of Cordelia Calls It Quits) writes,

I used to be that peculiar kid off at the far end of the playground, singing a little song to herself on a swing while all the normal children played tag (or whatever it is that normal children do).  I would imagine I was swinging directly into the trees in front of me, or directly into the sky above, and I remember it feeling so beautiful and transcendent that it “ached,” as Anne Shirley would say.  It never occurred to me to worry if the other kids would think I was weird for doing it.  We’d have lunch together after recess and teach each other new versions of “Miss Mary Mack,” and it would be all cool.  I was me, they were them, we were friends, and life was beautiful.

I can’t tell you the last time I lost myself—forgot myself—in my surroundings like that.  Only, now I can.  Because I did it this weekend.  And it was lovely.

If that speaks to you, be sure to click through and read the rest. It’s a fantastic story.

I’m off to try and do the same this weekend. Hope you do, too. See you back here on Monday!

Learning to Have Fun

1.

I’ve been thinking lately about having fun, reclaiming fun, relearning that pure intense joy that we have as children and so often lose as adults.

Alice Bradley of Finslippy.com writes:

I cannot begin to tell you how fun this [art] class was. It was stupid fun. I can’t explain it. We didn’t do anything ground-breaking. But by the end of the class I was giddy. I get such joy from this, it’s embarrassing. Why is it embarrassing, you ask? That is an excellent question…

(read the rest)

I could talk about responsibilities and adulthood. I could talk about how being with my significant other can make even the most mundane or tedious thing fun, as long as we both let it happen. I could talk about contra dance, the thing that is for me what art is for Alice (oh wait, I already did) (and no, it’s not writing…that’s a whole ‘nother blog post).

But today I want to focus on buses.

Guest Post by Liv Rancourt: That Ol’ Work-Life Balance

To round out my semi-hiatus, I’m excited to welcome Liv Rancourt. Liv is a kick-ass woman who writes about kick-ass women in a paranormal and/or romance setting (and she also has a shiny new author website that you might want to go look at because it’s so pretty). She’s here to share how she turns a common complaint on its head…

—

Thanks, Siri, for the chance to share a post with your readers. I hope the move is going well!

I was leaving work one morning at the end of a twenty-four hour call shift. It’s not as bad as it sounds – in fact, I think it’s a great gig, but we’ll get more into that later. I work as a nurse practitioner at a major academic medical center that boasts a top-level pediatric residency program and arguably one of the best nursing schools in the country.

But then I do have a  bias.

To get to my bus I have to cut through the school, and on this particular morning I was following a bunch of young nurses, shiny copper pennies with trim size-Small scrub pants and bouncing ponytails.  They made me feel every one of my years. Down to the hour. In fact, it occurs to me that I might have started working in hospitals before some of these girls were born.
I wasn’t exactly eavesdropping, but I couldn’t help overhear the following conversation. One of the new nurses  leaned over to another and asked about her schedule. The answer?

“Well, as long as I get Fridays and Saturdays off, it’ll be okay.”

Friday Link: Photos to Restore Your Faith in Humanity

Administrative note: You’re in for a treat on this blog. For the next two weeks, I’ll be featuring some awesome guest bloggers who are keeping the lights on here while I move house. I’ll still be responding to comments as I’m able and posting Friday links, and I’ll be back for real on July 9. Until then…

3 Ways to Cope with Being Stuck in Transition

Have you ever felt stuck between two stages of life? Maybe you’ve graduated college/university but haven’t found a job yet, or you’re working on making a dream happen but it’s still a ways off?

That’s where I am right now. I’m about to move into my first house — an exciting stage to be sure, but it’s taken a long time to get here and still isn’t quite here — and I’m having a little trouble finding balance.