Friday Video: Baby’s First Bath

It’s been a long week, so here’s a peaceful video to reactivate your sense of wonder and relaxation as we head into the weekend. Enjoy!

(via Elephant Journal)

Fighting Imposter Syndrome

Have you ever felt like a fraud just waiting to be exposed?

(There’s a term for that: imposter syndrome.)

I’ll be honest: I feel that way all the time. I feel like I lucked into my day job (non-fiction editor) without getting the proper educational background or paying my dues before working my way up. Never mind that this is actually the second job I’ve held in the same field (for a total of ten years!), or that the people I work with — other editors as well as clients — seem to think I’m competent.

Dancing Up a Storm

On a rainy spring day in Toronto a few weeks ago, I was dancing up a storm.

It was the last day of an all-weekend contra dance festival. I arrived late to the church hall and was just joining the fun, looking forward to a few more hours. As a live band — clarinet, fiddle, and guitar — played jazz and roots music, my partner of the moment and I twirled amid the larger group. Two long lines of couples faced each other, each foursome dancing together, breaking into twos, trading partners, coming back together, then moving into a new group of four. The couples, the foursomes, and the long lines all worked together as aspects of the larger whole, making the dance both intimate and communitarian.

When You’re Overwhelmed, What Do You Do?

You guys did such an awesome job in the comments on my last post, I thought I’d throw a different sort of question out there and see what wisdom you all have to send my way.

Here’s the issue. I’m kind of drowning in Real Life right now. No doubt a lot of you can relate! I’m heading towards a couple of major life events (of which buying my first house is only one) that require a lot of planning and work and decision-making. That last is not my strong suit, shall we say, and as a result I tend to get hung up on decisions — or paralyzed by the sheer amount that needs doing — and unable to move forward.

At the same time, I’m also trying not to drop my end of Turtleduck Press. And working full-time. And trying to stay connected to the important people in my life. And trying to occasionally work on some fiction — though to be honest, there’s not much of that happening. I figure it takes too much brain power right now, and I’m lucky enough (?) not to be under contract deadlines, so I can get back to it when Real Life settles down.

Here are a few things I’ve been doing…

1. Guarding my playtime. I spent most of last weekend at a dance festival, dancing. Was it productive? No. Was it tiring and time-consuming? Yes. Was it rejuvenating? Heck yes.

2. Finding support. Whether it’s somebody to come along on errands, bounce decisions off, or lend emotional support and no opinions, I know my friends and loved ones have got my back. You know who you are — thanks!

3. Prioritizing. Twitter and other social media are fun, and for an aspiring author they’re also important, but they don’t even come close to being top priority. Even within those life events I mentioned, some parts warrant much thought and investigation of options and analysis of pros and cons, and some parts just don’t.

Over to you now. When you’re feeling overwhelmed by life, what do you do? What are your best tips for digging out from under?

Serendipity: The Thrill of Discovery

Image: ntwowe / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Have you ever gone exploring in your own city?

We tend to get into ruts in our movements — go to work, go home, run errands or at our usual places. When we go out, we visit the same restaurants and coffee shops. I’m as guilty of this as anybody. But when I do venture out of those ruts, I remember how I crave new experiences.

After I’d been at my current workplace for several years, I discovered a lovely tree-lined walking route almost directly on the way home. True serendipity. Another time, I discovered a quiet street lined with townhouses, smack dab in the middle of downtown — that was such a shock I felt like I’d stepped into another dimension, as if I’d found Diagon Alley or a door to Neverwhere.

I’d been going for walks in a park for years before I realized that if I just continued a little farther, I could get right out to the lake and the beach. There are gardens hidden behind high-rises downtown. There’s a real cannon in front of one of the government buildings. It’s possible to walk along the waterfront or up the banks of one of the city rivers for far longer than I would have believed before I tried it.

I make a point of going to local festivals and other cultural events. There are a lot of them here in Toronto, and I miss most of them, but at various times I’ve been to Pride Week, arts festivals, music festivals, Greek and Caribbean festivals, science fiction and fantasy conventions, concerts, and so on. Each time, I see or hear or taste something new to soak up.

The best part? Most of what I’ve mentioned is free. It doesn’t take a lot of time, either. I’ve headed out on my lunch hour, or on my commute home via public transit, and made new discoveries within easy walking distance of my usual routes. And the thrill of discovery never gets old. It feels like a mini-vacation.

Last weekend I was in an unfamiliar neighbourhood, where I got to eat at a diner I’d never seen before (the food was mediocre and the place was freezing, but that’s not the point) and watch a whole new collection of people going through their own ruts. I was there because of another new experience — the Old Book and Paper Show, which was just as cool as it sounds. If you want to read more, hop on over to my write-up on the Turtleduck Press blog.

What unexpected local discoveries have you made? What’s your favourite way to explore your city or hometown?

5 Tips for Juggling Life Roles

Sometimes I feel like I’m juggling hats. (Or juggling geese, take your pick.) You know the feeling, I’m sure.

Image: kongsky / FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

There’s the job I do during the day, which involves thinking and typing and doing things with words. I sit in a cubicle, drink at the water cooler, and wear office-appropriate clothing.

There’s the job I do at Turtleduck Press…actually two jobs, if you count being the head editor as separate from being one of the authors in our co-op model. That also requires a small-business hat and a collaborative mindset. (Shameless plug: I’m blogging over there this week about fanfiction, cosplay, and other geeky crafts.)

There’s Being A Writer — which includes social media, critiquing other writers’ work and getting my own work critiqued, reading fiction and non-fiction and blogs to expand my knowledge…oh yeah, and actually writing (and the other parts of the process, like research and planning and editing). And I haven’t even gotten to the part about submitting to slush piles or doing the tech stuff necessary for self-publishing online.

There are a couple of big events that are coming up in my life and require much research and planning (more about those another time).

Plus making sure there’s food in the fridge and clean socks in the drawer, and how long has it been since I vacuumed? And I also need time to veg out and hang with loved ones and move my body and pursue other hobbies and remember that a “me” exists apart from what I’ve already mentioned.

I don’t have kids or pets to take care of (yet!), but I know many of you do.

I can handle wearing two hats in a day. In fact, I don’t know what to do with myself otherwise. It’s when they start to multiply that I run into trouble. One day late last year, I had a hectic day at work, then squeaked in a visit to a house for sale, then spent a couple of hours at my writers’ group. By the time I got home, I didn’t know who I was supposed to be.

Here are some things I do to keep all my hats in the air (wait, this metaphor has seen better days):

• Make lists. Lots and lots of lists. That way you’re not stressing out trying to keep everything in your head. Shorter is better so you have half a chance of crossing everything off.
• Use downtime. On my lunch hour, I can usually be found with a netbook or a printout in front of me. Most of my reading happens on the subway.
• Be imperfect. Sure, I’d like my home to be clean all the time and my stories to be polished within an inch of their lives before I turn them in to my critique group, but it’s never going to happen.
• Feed your soul. I do yoga to practice being mindful. I knit to create something that’s concrete and doesn’t have all the pressure attached. When I’m being good to myself, I go for walks.
• Remember to play. I could get more done if I didn’t go dancing every couple of weeks. Sometimes I wish I could train myself not to need vegging-out time. But that stuff’s important too.

I try to remember to do all these things, but it’s hard, and I’m always looking for more ways to get more done, I mean achieve balance. Okay, maybe both. So I’m opening it up to you.

Update: For a good article on “using downtime”, see How to Publish Daily When You Have a 9-5 Job. He’s talking about blogging, but you could use his suggestions for a variety of different hats.

For more on juggling and “being imperfect”, try FlyLady. My favourite tip from her is to set a timer. She says, “You can do anything for 15 minutes.”

What’s your best tip for juggling hats (or geese) without losing your mind?

Surviving the End of Winter

I have a confession to make.

Normally I hate February. I’m not too keen on January or March either. The holidays are over, New Year’s resolutions are shot, and summer is a long ways off. Here in Toronto, the weather doesn’t turn warmer until April. Even then it’s likely to stay cool and rainy for another month or two, but at least there are spring buds to watch. I’m a solar-powered kind of girl, so I find late winter/early spring to be a tough slog.

This year, though, it hasn’t been so bad. My best guesses as to why:

1. I’ve been busy making plans. I’ve got some big plans for later this year — more on those another time — and they’ve kept me focused on the future instead of the cold, gloomy present.